I’ve struggled with this for as far back as middle school days. From a young age, we are taught what good and bad friends look like, and when we get older, we start to learn what healthy and unhealthy intimate relationships consist of. What teachers/parents/mentors don’t tell us is that we deal with and put up with what we think we deserve. For years, I convinced myself my high school relationship was just fine and we were happy, when the rest of the world saw right through it (and eventually, so did we). The same happens with friendship.
A good example of the point I’m trying to make happened junior year of high school. My best friend of eleven years and I were drifting apart and I took it upon myself to mend things, to make our friendship what it had been before this bomb called high school hit our lives. I would call to ask if she wanted to hang out, invite her into my homecoming/prom group, ask to study with her, etc. But it was always a no. She had new friends, which was great. It wasn’t that she had made new friends besides me, it was that eventually she seemed to wonder why we stopped hanging out, ignoring the fact that I had tried to stay in touch with her. I decided during the semester I was done reaching out to her. If she wanted to hang out with me, she could come to me and ask. I was done being the only person putting in effort. Friendship is not a one-way street.
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My 23rd birthday weekend was one full of fun, worship, and exploring. As I am finally able to sit in my home and relax, I am still in awe that I spent the weekend in Tupelo, Mississippi. The I AM conference was more than worth the drive and the money; it was an experience that left my friend and I filled with the Holy Spirit, self-worth, and ambition, so when I say I traveled solo, I mean traveling without family at my side.
Krissi, a conference host, said during prayer over the crowd of anxious girls, “Thank you Jesus for getting these girls here tonight,” and being the only two women who drove from out of state to get here, I knew that somehow that one was for us.
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2019 is three days away, how crazy is that to say out loud? At the end of every year, my life really starts to slow down. December was a super crazy month for me; I graduated college, I went on a short vacation, I finished an internship. I’m currently enjoying my last “winter break” until my new job begins.
I am not very fond of seasons of waiting, but after thinking about it long enough and praying about it, I realized that this is actually a huge blessing and an opportunity to spend time with friends and family, to reflect on this past year, as well as write down my aspirations for the new year. Setting yourself up for success can look different for everyone, but I know deep down, 2019 is your freaking year.
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