I’ve struggled with this for as far back as middle school days. From a young age, we are taught what good and bad friends look like, and when we get older, we start to learn what healthy and unhealthy intimate relationships consist of. What teachers/parents/mentors don’t tell us is that we deal with and put up with what we think we deserve. For years, I convinced myself my high school relationship was just fine and we were happy, when the rest of the world saw right through it (and eventually, so did we). The same happens with friendship.
A good example of the point I’m trying to make happened junior year of high school. My best friend of eleven years and I were drifting apart and I took it upon myself to mend things, to make our friendship what it had been before this bomb called high school hit our lives. I would call to ask if she wanted to hang out, invite her into my homecoming/prom group, ask to study with her, etc. But it was always a no. She had new friends, which was great. It wasn’t that she had made new friends besides me, it was that eventually she seemed to wonder why we stopped hanging out, ignoring the fact that I had tried to stay in touch with her. I decided during the semester I was done reaching out to her. If she wanted to hang out with me, she could come to me and ask. I was done being the only person putting in effort. Friendship is not a one-way street.
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Because I am still in the trial and error phase of figuring out what works best for me, this post focuses on what I have been doing lately to help with stress and anxiety, as well as what I’ve been doing to reach my fitness goals. It’s also hard because I have to admit that my lifestyle is not as perky and pretty as I hoped it would be at this point in time; it feels like I’ve spent years trying to achieve these mundane fitness goals, but recently I’ve decided to let go of all my past hopes and dreams and come up with new ones that better match my aspirations today.
Reevaluating my health and fitness goals at a different stage of my life is what has launched me into this headstrong and almost frantic search to find what makes me feel the best. I gave up the desire to look “skinny”, to fit into certain clothes, to fit in with everyone else. Those were all delusions I had in middle school when all I cared about was looking like the other girls (not a great goal since no one in middle/high school actually looks that great). For a long time, I was trying to reach goals that were damn near impossible. Just at the end of last year, I was able to come to the conclusion that I was working toward goals I didn’t want to achieve any more and I needed to be redirected.
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2018 has been stuffed full of changes, emotions, and self-discovery. I mean, there’s nothing more exciting than knowing I’m not the same person I was at the beginning of the year; I’ve seen the good, bad, and ugly this year and I am happy to say I’m on the other side of the bad and ugly for now. I have not exactly been a role model when it comes to simple living.
This is probably my third or fourth attempt at being a frugal minimalist, but what can I say, I was raised on shopping trips with my mom and grandma. I started this adventure a couple years ago when I moved into my third apartment and after I had dated minimalist traveler for a few months, and after surviving on everything I carried in my backpack for a week while I hiked through the mountains, I was intrigued by the idea of simple living.
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